Not Old, Just Old Fashioned

Hey gang, this is Detective Dallas Holden, the main character in S.C. Lang's first novel, Original Sin checking in again.
Okay, so here's what I'm gonna rant about today, I'm not old - just old fashioned. I don't need every new-fangled electronic gizmo that comes out, I much prefer a simpler way of life. One of the new guys here in the squad room is walking around with one of those Blue tooth things in his ear, and for the first half of the day I thought the guy was losing his crackers and talking to himself. I even checked his desk to see if he had a bottle of hooch tucked away in there. Somebody please tell me why we need these things? Has picking up a telephone receiver really become that much of a hassle? While I'm on the subject of telephones, remember the good 'ol days when people talked instead of typed on them? I swear, texting is the very bane of my existence. Just this morning I saw a uniform writing a ticket to a young yuppie wannabe female who was texting while driving - never a good idea by the way, folks. Texting while driving really upsets us law enforcement types. There, consider yourselves officially warned. Cops hate when people text and drive at the same time. So don't do it!
The only new trick I can actually find a use for on these new high-tech, slick-looking wafer-thin cell phones is adding the camera to it. In my line of work that can come in handy. Other than that, it's all just a bunch of silliness in my book.
Do we really need a phone that can connect to the Internet so people can keep track of their precious Twitter and Facebook accounts? What, exactly, are they afraid they're gonna miss? The latest "What Kind Of Indian Spirit Are You?" quiz? Seriously?
Now don't get me wrong, I think the Internet is just fine. But come on, can we use it just a bit more wisdom than we currently are?
Last pet-peeve - the Blackberry! Boy we've really lost our minds over this gadget haven't we? One time I found a person's Blackberry that he had left behind in a cab. With just a few touches of my finger, I knew his name, address and telephone number. This schmuck - I mean tax-paying citizen, had all his personal information loaded onto this thing. And you say identity theft is running rampant? Gee, I can't see how or why! But, he could access the Internet, download music, books, ring tones and videos, play a couple gazillion games, balance his checkbook, order food from just about anywhere, get his horoscope, weather conditions, local news, sports scores and anything else he could think of, all on this one hand-held gizmo. Let's hear it for modern marvels. He also made it easy as pie for anybody with a grudge against him to find him. Or to clean out his bank account, trash talk him on his social networking web sites, and any other manner of crap. For every convenience, there is the flip side to consider. I know, I deal with that flip side every day. I see the damage these electronic gizmos can, and oftentimes do, inflict. I'm not saying don't use them, just use them with caution.
I have to go into Interview One now and have a jabber session with some punk now, so I have to wrap this up. Until next time, this is Detective Dallas Holden signing off.